please remember the
way we once fell in love, the
fullness of it all.
I still chain smoke cigarettes as if it is my profession. I should be promoted for the amount of nicotine that I have stored in my lungs.
I still write poetry about losing the ones I love. Even if I was the one who pushed them out of my life.
I still believe in God even after all of this chaos that has been unfolding upon his own creation. I still have hope in my heart while others have a gun in their hand.
I still play the mixed CD you made for me before you left. I’m still trying to figure out between guitar rifts and melancholy harmonies what you wanted me to hear. What you were trying to tell me all along but couldn’t find the words yourself.
I still write you letters even though we both know that I don’t have the courage to send to you. I’m still hoping that maybe the ink from the paper will appear on your skin and show you what I never could.
I still wake up with you on my mind, and the same goes for when I’m about to fall asleep at night.
I still miss you, still love you, still regret everything I did to keep you away for good.
But most of all, I still want you. And I don’t think that any amount of days, months or even years of realizing will ever be able to change my mindset when it comes to still always longing for your presence.